if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
