I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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