I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize