I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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