Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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