Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
