someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
