its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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