somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
