Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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