So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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