Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
