yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
