worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
