He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The beer is more important than you right now.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
