I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
