What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
