You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
