And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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