i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
