It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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