Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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