I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
