I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
