i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
