I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
