If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
