As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
