Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?

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(303): View more from Colorado

It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.

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(519): View more from Ontario

DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.

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(330): View more from Ohio

what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.

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(256): View more from Alabama

He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for

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(209): View more from California

Why is my belly button ring in my ear

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