nut hugger
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize