i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
it hurts more in the daytime
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
