Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
