What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
