Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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