just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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