Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
