Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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