This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
