i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
