woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I would fuck him just for his dog
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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