you traded sex for a burrito?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
