Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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