Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize