he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
