Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
