I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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