Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
