His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
