I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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