How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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