would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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