Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
