I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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