my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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