I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
