He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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