just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
